Mama Tried
Allow me to pass along a lesson I have learned repeatedly over the last few years:
It's a bad idea to spend a late night listening to sad country (i.e., the good kind) by yourself, if you have a bottle of whiskey close at hand.
You can do it if you have beer in the fridge, or rum or vodka on the shelf. Those are fine. Just avoid the brown liquors from the states of Kentucky or Tennessee. (The finest of the brown liquors.)
Nothing good will come of it. I mean it. Nothing good. Not a goddamn bit of good.
If you're gonna do it anyway, you should not listen to these songs:
- The Song is Still Slipping Away
- The Last Time I Let You Down
- Long Hauls and Calls
- Stoned and Alone
- Got Lonely Too Early This Morning
- Not Everybody Likes Us
- Smoke and Wine
- Satan is Real/Straight to Hell
You should especially avoid these songs:
- Mama Tried
- Are The Good Times Really Over
- Candidate For Suicide
- Footlights
- Swinging Doors
- Misery and Gin
- What's Made Milwaukee Famous
And stay off the roof.
Sure, you can see two states away, and the Monument and Capitol dome are all pretty at night. And yes, sometimes that woman in the seventh floor apartment in the building across the street who thinks no one can see her when her boyfriend gives it to her in the against the window sill is, well, taking it against the window sill.
But for god's sake, stay off the roof. You're closer to the stars, and nothing makes you feel quite as small and insignificant like a sky full of stars does when you've been listening to depressing music and drinking.
Carry on.
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