Piss Buddy?
This has perplexed me for two days since it happened.
I walk into the bathroom at work. Napoleon Dynamite* is at the kiddie urinal. (He always uses it, and he's of average height. It's odd.)
I take a leak at the grown-up urinal, separated from the kiddie pot by a mauve divider, just big enough to make an accidental peek virtually impossible unless you're 6'4".
As I zip up, I fart, one of the high pitched ones that ends a little higher than it starts, that echoes nicely off the tile walls.
Napoleon Dynamite blurts out, "Gawd, Berko, you make a bad piss buddy! I can't even go standing next to you!" He stomps off into a stall and closes the door.
I start laughing (what else to do?) and wash my hands. I asked him if it would make it better if I sang him a song.
He didn't answer, so I walked out of the bathroom, bewildered and laughing.
* Name changed to protect me, and cause the dude freakin' sounds just like Napoleon Dynamite. Plus, whenever I think about it, I picture ND at the urinal next to me, with the glasses, T-shirt and velcro boots.
And to keep with the trend of horridly wonderful music videos in this space, I present Apache, which some might recognize as the theme song to Wild Chicago. The band is a slightly straighter cross between Village People and DJ Super Greg Number One. (Link from Mike.)
Replies: 10 comments
My nomination. I'm not pretender.
Posted by @ 05/06/05 6:21 a.m. ET
And please, let us not confuse the Tommy Seebach's Apache with the Incredible Bongo Band's Apache, which we all know and love, even if we don't know we know it. And if you don't know it, well, as they say, better ask somebody
Posted by @ 05/07/05 4:35 a.m. ET
Pretender = Tony Basil meets Philip Hinchcliffe
Posted by @ 05/07/05 4:42 a.m. ET
... but when girls get up and go to the bathroom togther, they go to make out, right?
Posted by @ 05/07/05 10:12 a.m. ET
A male taking offense to flatulence is a purdy good indicator that he likes the fuck stick. My recommendation is to continue unclogging your intestinal gas in his general direction. Perhaps show him your fecalulator ...
Posted by @ 05/08/05 3:12 a.m. ET
We go to the bathroom together to talk about you.
Posted by @ 05/08/05 6:02 a.m. ET
Hey everyone, what time is it?
Posted by @ 05/09/05 6:11 a.m. ET
The time is Morning Thunder.
Posted by @ 05/09/05 10:27 a.m. ET
D-lo, next time you run into him, tell him you don't need a "piss buddy," you need a fart buddy,like Pull-My-Finger Fred.
Posted by @ 05/09/05 11:42 a.m. ET
It sounds like an elaborate ploy to get you to touch his wang. Stay sharp.
Posted by @ 05/06/05 2:59 a.m. ET