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Tuesday, December 7, 2004
Posted by B2 @ 3:59 p.m. ET

The Spirit of Xmas

Inspired by Steve Martin's classic holiday sentiment., I'd like to offer a few of my holiday wishes for this season:

  1. I wish you Christians would keep Christ out of Xmas. You've already lost that battle, just be thankful you still have Easter (for now).

  2. I wish Priest Holmes and Jamal Lewis would get off their lazy asses and get back in the game 'cause they're killing my fantasy team.

  3. I wish people would realize that no matter how fast you're driving, the left lane is for passing, and get the fuck out of my way.

  4. I wish that Paris Hilton's real parents would come forward and drag her back to the trailer in Alabama.

  5. I wish that the inevitable Bush II legal scandal will break before he's left office.

  6. I wish Seth and Summer would just get over themselves and get back together.

  7. I wish baseball would go back to Canada where it belongs.

  8. I wish Santa would bring me eight maids-a-milking, if you know what I mean.

  9. I wish I could motivate myself to change the world for the better this year like I meant to do last year.

  10. I wish I could come up with one more wish, but in the meantime, I hope I never do this.

-30-

Replies: 1 comments

I wish we could get the whole world to come together, so that they can get in a big fucking line and kiss my ass.

Posted by @ 12/08/04 4:48 a.m. ET

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