free 2 be marlo

Wednesday, November 3, 2004

Posted by hciudad @ 4:06 p.m. ET

Three recurring themes I've heard today from candidates, talking heads and voters on why Bush got re-elected are: "moral values," minimizing government interference, and unity amongst voters and politicians. What-the-fuck-ever....

Moral values?

Claiming your campaign is about moral values after...

...attacking a country based on false information, and sending troops into harm's way without an exit strategy. ...attacking your opponent's military record (not directly of course), when you have no record of your own. ...pretending like you're helping seniors with their prescription drug needs, when, in reality, you're just using it as an excuse to limit health care consumer rights, not to the benefit of health care providers, but in favor of insurance companies.

Government interference?

Claiming that you oppose government interference in private lives...

...then supporting a Federal definition of marriage. ...and supporting federal limits on abortions. ...and limiting medical research using stem cells. ...The PATRIOT-fucking-ACT.

U.N.I.T.Y.?

Claiming you're a uniter, not a divider, as you send your attack dogs after the opposition leadership's campaign.

Other random thoughts on The Day After...

Watching the Jackass' victory speech on the Televisiographic Machine:

When the President refers to any one person, especially Karl Rove, as "The Architect," it just gives me chills in a "Where's-the-Red-Pill?" kind of way.

And finally…

Since the Democrats have no interest in winning elections any more, I propose that we splinter off and start our own political party, one that's willing to play fucking hardball. The Marlocrats won't sit idly by while we get double-teamed by Karl Rove and Dick Cheney, like a pair of Chinese finger cuffs. We won't, after giving the Republican candidate a verbal bitch slap during the debates and gaining the upper hand, downshift into Mister Rogers mode. We will look directly into the camera at each campaign event until the election, call the guy an ignorant dickhead, and challenge him to prove us wrong. We will get his name tattooed on our ass, just so we can drop trou on National TV. We won't come up with some wishy-washy platform of: "Like the other guy, but with whipped cream on top." We will detail thoroughly unpopular, yet genuinely liberal, plans to change the way America does business. Then, when we lose, at least we can say that we lost for a good cause and we gave it the good fight. It's like being Ralph Nader, except we're holding a fucking shotgun and a list of demands.

Anybody with me?

Anybody....?

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