Whatever happened to keeping your wang in your trousers?
I knew this guy was bad news for the Dems.
When will Senators, Representatives and Presidents realize that interns are a perk that should be reserved for miserably-paid staffers who can't afford the standard Washington D.C. dating scene? It's not fair! They have their power circles and access to some very fine legislative assistants and lobbyists. Why do they have to horn in on the little guy(or girl)'s racket? That system gave 1996-2000 some of the best times of my life in D.C.. Had some good times and made some good friends. Like actual friends, even.
It all sort of makes me wistful for the Senate. Being out of session...the fries at the Senate Chef...the great sore throat remedies available at the Senate Nurse. As Cinderella sang back in '88: "Don't Know What You Got Til It's Gone." On the other hand, they also sang a song titled "Nothin' for Nothin'" and are named after a fairy tale character who rides to a party in an oversized squash on wheels, so what the fuck do they know?
In any case, that TSP was a pretty good deal. You don't get anything like that in the real world.
Back to the main point: If you have political ambitions, don't fuck anybody but your spouse.
It's as simple as that.
Seems to me that the whole point of getting married was that you decided you no longer wanted to fuck anybody BUT your spouse, but I might just be old fashioned. Hell, I don't have political aspirations, and I don't fuck anybody at all. Come to think of it, I would be the perfect candidate. Too bad the Virginia primaries have come and gone, or I could have written myself in. But for all you D.C. voters, keep me in mind for the caucuses this Saturday.
My platform: 1. I promise to keep my wang in my pants, although I can't promise to always wear pants. 2. Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others. 3. Steak and a Blowjob Day will become the official national holiday to fill that lull between President's Day and Memorial Day. I'm thinking April 5. No reason in particular.
Replies: 2 comments
God Bless America.
Posted by @ 02/12/04 6:33 a.m. ET
You'll just confuse people if you promise to keep your wang in your pants AND institutionalize Steak and a Blowjob Day. I think you'll have to pick one or the other.
Posted by @ 02/12/04 5:10 a.m. ET